Does your story feel too rushed? One easy way to control pacing, add suspense, and cue the reader about big changes in your story is to have your main character pause at major thresholds.
Thresholds are literal or figurative doorways that a protagonist walks through at key moments of the story. They represent moments of change: On one side of the “door” the rules are totally different than on the other side. Think Harry Potter going into the Chamber of Secrets, or Katniss Everdeen getting thrown into the Hunger Games. Once those characters “crossed the line,” they couldn’t go back.
In both of those examples, you might have noticed that Collins and Rowling slowed the story down a beat. Katniss had a 60-second delay where she sized up her situation. Harry had to solve a series of puzzles to get to the door. And for good reason: They’d been moving toward that big change for pages and pages, so it would be weird to rush straight across the threshold without a moment’s pause.
So if your story feels like it’s moving at a break-neck speed, look for thresholds or turning points where you can slow down. Show us details. Add another obstacle between your character and their goal. Let us hear their thoughts, hopes, and hesitations as they move into the next phase of their story. Show us why this moment is important. We won’t get impatient–in fact, if you’ve prepared us well enough for the moment, taking a pause will only increase the suspense!
when i woke up this morning, my first thought was ‘no one visits my grave anymore’ and i was really sad for a few minutes so i lay on my bed with my eyes shut and then all of a sudden i opened my eyes and was like ‘wait i don’t have a grave what the fuck’
you were possessed
find the spirit that possessed you and visit their grave you jackass
That was what Nigel heard anyway, the news spreading far and wide all the way to his favorite biter bar, Stoker’s. The vamp population in Cali was a lot smaller than it was back home, mostly full of newly turned assholes who took the news as if Freddy fucking Krueger was coming through the door any minute.
Nigel hadn’t seen a Raki in about a quarter century, a feisty little brunette who gave him a scar and was torn open by an angry Ygritte who then bragged about it for at least five years after. He remembered her angry blue eyed stare, the excitement in those eyes at almost taking him down, and felt invigorated for the fight to come.
Except there was no fight.
Far and wide vamps waited, terrified of the war to come, but nothing happened.
Days passed and then weeks till finally Nigel took a peek. He’d heard the Raki slayer was living by the park and doing reconnaissance every evening but still hadn’t struck once. When Nigel walked into the park and saw the back of the Raki’s head, he inhaled the scent and nearly doubled over.
Amazing.
He wanted to drown in him, suck him near dry and then feed on him again and again.
Nigel must’ve made noise because the Raki turned to look.
“Hello.”
He blinked.
Fuck he was beautiful. Windswept curls, creamy skin, perfect pink lips, and those same blue eyes he remembered so long ago.
Nigel licked his lips. “Hello.”
The Raki eyed him with interest. “Are you here to look at stars? There aren’t many but they’re there.”
He craned his neck back and Nigel swallowed back a moan. “You like stars, darling?”
The Raki tilted his neck but just enough to look at him again. “Oh yes. Do you?”
Nigel stepped forward quite aware that this might be a trick and still compelled to be closer. “Yes. I am very interested in all kinds of heavenly bodies. May I sit?”
“Yes.”
He sat down and stared at the youngest and according to many last Raki in the US. Nigel couldn’t imagine this ethereal angel hurting a goddamn fly let alone a vampire so obviously he wasn’t a slayer by any means.
The thought made him relax entirely and stare up at the stars that so captivated the Raki boy.
“You do this often?”
“Every night.”
That explained things. There was no possible why he could’ve been planning any sort of reconnaissance. He’d just been looking at the twinkle of little stars.
Nigel laughed and leaned forward, a split second decision that to this day he had no excuse for. The rest of things were a blur, the quick way the Raki moved, the hard hold he didn’t expect, and the stake planted right over his heart but not inside.
The warmth of the Raki’s breath was more than a fucking turn on, as was the hard set to his eyes.
“I don’t like vampires coming close to me without permission. Please apologize.”
Nigel’s fangs came forth unbidden and he hissed out, “Are you fucking serious?”
The Raki pressed the stake in closer to his shirt and it started to tear.
“I’ve never killed a vampire in front of people before but I’m fairly certain I can get away with it. My father did once and said it was for a movie. Do you like movies?”
Nigel grabbed for him and the Raki draped himself over his lap.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “Never has to ask fucking permission to move before your highness.”
The hold was gone just as fast as it had come, and Nigel’s dick twitched when the Raki moved off him.
“It’s not a horrible thing to ask permission, is it? You were flirting with me, I think, and if we have sexual intercourse—“
Nigel let out a laugh. “What makes you think I want to fuck you? I got no death wish gorgeous and you certainly—“
“My name isn’t gorgeous, it’s Adam. I don’t like nicknames or anything like that. Also I would be the one inside you I think. For my first time.”
Nigel blinked.
Oh fuck.
A Virgin. He hasn’t had a Virgin in months. A Virgin Raki slayer?
“Nice to meet you, Adam Raki, but I am done with this bullshit before I get my ass killed.”
He stood up and took a few steps before Adam called out.
“It’s rude not to tell me your name when I told you mine.”
Nigel smiled and turned to look at him again. The effect did not wear off even after seeing him already.
“Nigel.”
Adam eyed him with interest.
“You’re very handsome Nigel. Please keep safe and don’t make me have to do what I do. Even though you were rude I don’t ever go after someone just for being different.”
Nigel tipped his head forward to nod.
“Same to you, Darling. Same to you.”
He left and pulled out his phone, warm all over from the encounter.
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