Do fanfic writers get envious of other writers? I find that especially with fanfic writers I’m close to, I get extremely envious of—to the point where it’s affecting my own writing because I’m feeling so discouraged. I’m a relatively small fic author (not *particularly* good), and I know I should be happy for them, especially when it’s a big accomplishment (500 kudos, fic recs, fanart) but I just can’t help myself from feeling so much envy. It’s just… yeah, it sucks.

salt-of-the-ao3:

fuckyeahfightlock:

salt-of-the-ao3:

Yeah, it sucks. @the-siren-wears-antlers had a very great answer to that problem (http://salt-of-the-ao3.tumblr.com/post/174238171511/reading-stories-inspires-me-usually-but-sometimes), make sure to check it out!

I’m super envious/jealous of other authors. It’s a character flaw I’ve had all my life–validation/recognition is very important and motivating to me, so when I see others getting it, it sets off this green-eyed monster in me (not just related to writing, but to anything I do). Part of it comes from this deeply motivating desire I have to be validated/recognised, and part of it comes from insecurity that my own efforts are not good enough/not as good, and I think the major part is that I am just generally a very competitive person and always want to “win.” These are all traits that can be positive–I’m persistent; I finish things; I put in effort to produce at a high level of quality–but the negative manifestations (such as this jealousy thing) don’t always serve me as well.

I credit myself for recognising it’s not my most stellar quality (I have always been this way but haven’t always been so self-aware). I make efforts to reassure myself that my own work is of good quality (equal to or better than the people of whom I’m envious). I remind myself of all the support I do get and have gotten, and I truly am humbled by it–allowing myself to feel gratitude for it crowds out some of the negative, envious feelings (isn’t there some saying about it’s not possible to feel gratitude and fear simultaneously? It’s similar. Gratitude has a real power to take up emotional/mental space…and makes you a more compassionate, happier person. I recommend gratitude. 12/10 would be grateful again.).

The most important thing to remember (for me) is that even though it feels otherwise sometimes (most times!), praise and recognition are boundless. It’s not a pie. Just because someone else gets praise, doesn’t mean there is less praise in the world for me to get. Someone else getting recognised for good work isn’t eating my slice of the pie. They get theirs, I get mine, everyone gets their own, and there’s always more to go around. I joke with myself when I feel envious of whatever the Fic of the Moment is, or whoever’s name I’m seeing a lot of, “Stop eating my pie!” It reminds me that my envious feelings are just kind of in-built in me, but that someone else succeeding doesn’t equal my failure. They do their work, and I do mine, and we are both the best at what we do. So we both get validated, sooner or later, by someone or other. It’s fine.

(Ooh, just decided! I’m going to switch my pie metaphor to cake so I can just tell myself The Cake is a Lie and laugh forever)

Good strategy!