hanni-bunny-lecter:

guardianoftime:

xenonucleic:

themightyglamazon:

carrieasagiri:

grrlgeek72:

thelastexhaledangel:

writing-while-female:

randaness:

persephone-devotee:

probablefox:

thescienceofjohnlock:

love-in-mind-palace:

totallysilvergirl:

addignisherlock:

mareebrittenford:

writing-while-female:

spellbound7:

butterynutjob:

fluffle-talk:

rocket-pool:

Dying rn

@butterynutjob

He stopped in front of the mirror and sighed. His penis was just a little too large to be fashionable, and his balls were just a little lopsided. Most days it didn’t bother him, but today he pushed at his genitals, trying to make them look more normal, like the men in magazines. It was hopeless. He dropped his junk in resigned frustration. There were worse things than having too large of a penis, he thought.

While, granted, some writers do take the breast thing too far, this comparison doesn’t even make sense. Men don’t obsess about their genitals the way women obsess about their breasts because they’re not in your face all the time (in the case of large boobs). Breasts are just more visible (closer to eye level).

Newsflash! Women don’t obsess about our breasts. 

No really, we live with them 24/7, we can see friends, and relatives breasts pretty much on demand, hell, we just have to go to get changed at the gym to be inundated with boobs. They are really boring to us (ad while we’re on it, nowhere near as sensitive as so many men seem to think!).

The only time a woman might obsess about her breasts is when they’re painful, such as when lactating or wearing an ill-fitting bra, and neither situation is at all sexy.

Men obsess over women’s breasts. Women don’t. 

I’m just loling about supposedly obsessing over my breasts because they’re near my face.

“In your face all the time (in case of large boobs)”

So apparently large breasts are gravity-defying objects that rise up to our face until eye level, huh??

Any women out there willing to draw out how this guy’s version of boob reality might look like, because this is just too ridiculous 😂😂😂

I needed this belly-laugh, I really did, so many you did too.

I..am..idk

🤣😂🤣

And before anyone says anything about women who are into women: breasts can be attractive, but they’re still mundane and we are perfectly able to not ogle or feel abashed when in the presence of bare-breasted people.

dooooo your boobs float high

do they wobble toward the sky

can you not help but obsess

on your face-invading chest

can you cup them in your hands

and bounce them like a marching band

do your boobs. float. high.

I think I love you,  @randaness

I’m crying 😂😂😂

And I’m pretty sure men obsess about their dicks way more than women obsess about their breasts…

This is too much 😂😂😂😂

I almost spit my coke 😂😂😂😂

GUY YOU LOST ME AT “Men don’t obsess about their genitals” LMFAOOOOOO

If men don’t obsess about their genitals, then why are dick pics and drawing dicks on literally everything so popular?

Also men will literally get rulers out to measure their junk and compare so lmao.

With the amount of dick art everywhere

I’m amazed that men still think we believe most of them are straight.

reputationlesbian:

it’s always alarming to me that people joined tumblr after 2012 and have no idea what the site was like before they joined. they don’t know about “can you make this ask rebloggable?” and lolsummer69 and the tumbleasts and that week in 2010 when we all seriously thought 4chan would shut the site down. tumblr university and the glee/superwholock blogs vs hipster blogs ‘War’ are foreign concepts to them. they didn’t have to live through the mishapocalypse and people calling david karp “daddy” and the takedown of tumblr user pizza. they’ve never seen a 500k over-saturated gif with the topaz effect because they’ve always lived in a world where we had decent psds and photosets and the 2mb/3mb limit. the other day i saw someone confused because they didn’t understand a reference to the Tumblr Code post. there are users that think a tumblr con is a good idea. these kids know how to discourse but they don’t know their tumblr history and our suffering. “Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it,” and i really can’t live through another era of gif stories and people calling others “peasant.”

slashyrogue:

Hannigram AU: The Magic of You 

There was always a rule in the Graham house growing up: keep it safe, keep it quiet. Will was never allowed much socializing with non witches, evenings spent inside working on spells and even conjuring whatever came into his mind’s eye.

That was before his father died and he met Molly Foster. Molly, with her warm eyes and sweet smile. The one  who made him believe in love and life beyond magic.

The love of his life.

When the accident happens he’s not there but Winston howls and he knows.

That’s when he stops feeling anything at all and his magic dies.

He gives up spells and potions for engines and motors. The feeling is gone and he feels as if he’d never used magic at all.

Then one day things begin to change.

There’s a new doctor in town.

At least that’s what Will hears from the grocer, an older man named Henry who likes to put flowers in Will’s bags for no reason. Will remembers being voted prettiest boy and girl in high school ages ago, though he looks so different now he’s been told he’s just as handsome.

Not that he cares much.

Will hasn’t so much as looked at another person in that way for three years. He smiles and goes about his day not even thinking on the new town doctor again.

Wolf Trap is a small town.  Doctors come and go especially city ones.

He is heading home with his and Winston’s dinner, his mind blisfully blank, when a black cat runs across the road in front of his car.

Will swerves to avoid it, runs into a ditch and bangs his head hard on the steering wheel enough to pass out. He wakes up in an unfamiliar place that feels almost too familiar.

“You‘re awake.”

Will turns toward the voice and sees a man in a Doctor coat wearing a very nice suit.

“You‘re the new…”

The Doctor‘s nametag reads Dr. Lecter and when he touches Will’s forehead every lightbulb in the room explodes at once.

Will can feel his magic thrumming in his veins.

What was going on here?

The darkness that comes with the broken light bulbs makes Will uneasy though Dr. Lecter doesn’t let go of his hand. “I apologize, that’s….never happened before.” 

“Maybe it was a electricity surge,” Will whispers, “I’ve been told that happens sometimes.” 

He can almost hear the smile in Dr. Lecter’s voice. “Have you? Perhaps that’s what it is then.” 

The doctor lets go of his hand and Will can hear him walk across the room. When the light comes on from a standing lamp he blinks to get his bearings before looking at the other man more closely. 

He’s handsome, Will hadn’t had time to notice before, and walks as if he knows himself better than anyone Will has ever seen. 

“Electric surges aside, how are you feeling?” 

Will rolls his shoulder and winces. “Sore. I…did I hit the cat?” 

Dr. Lecter comes over to him and puts his hand on Will’s shoulder. His touch feels like a brand and Will leans into it wanting more. “There was a cat? Your car hit a stop sign and you were pushed forward, hitting your head. I am glad you are not more hurt.” 

“I saw a black cat,” Will whispers, “I didn’t want to hit him.” 

Dr. Lecter massages his shoulder. “The man who brought you in did not see a cat.” 

Will closes his eyes and his magic hums through him so much he feels his cock respond. He hasn’t felt magic in so long this feels sinful, but fuck if it doesn’t feel amazing. 

“Good. Is my car wrecked?” 

“A dent, nothing more.” 

Dr. Lecter moves away and Will opens his eyes. They stare at each other silently for too long to be normal but Will doesn’t want to look away. “Good.” 

“Try your shoulders now.” 

Will sits up and rolls his shoulders. 

They feel perfectly fine, almost too fine. 

“Better.” 

“Good.” 

The doctor stands and walks over to a counter where he takes out a pen. He writes something and Will admires his hands. 

“I will prescribe some mild pain killers but I do think you were luckier than most. I did not see anything wrong with you.” 

“My clothes aren’t even off,” Will says and then blushes, “I mean, you don’t know what my body looks like. I could be covered in bruises or…bleeding internally.” 

Dr. Lecter walks over and hands Will the prescription. His smile makes Will feel even more embarrassed. “If you’d like, you could take off your clothing. I lifted your shirt earlier but as you did not suffer more than a minor accident I did not think total nudity was important. If you feel otherwise…” 

Will stands up and his face is on fire. “No, it’s fine. I…need to get home to feed my dog.” 

“You have a dog?” 

“Yeah,” Will whispers, “How long have I been here?” 

“No more than an hour.” 

“Good,” he says, “I…what do I owe?” 

“Nothing.” 

Will looks at him. “You’re a doctor, you charge people for care. I’m sure I…” 

Dr. Lecter holds out his hand. Will takes it without thought. “If you wish to repay me, Mr. Graham, please allow me to introduce myself formally. My name is Dr. Hannibal Lecter.” 

Will feels lightheaded at hearing his first name. 

Names have power and Hannibal has just given up his without even knowing. 

“Will Graham.” 

“I am aware,” Hannibal smiles, “The man who found you was quite disturbed at you’re being injured. I was worried for my own safety if I did not take good care of you.” 

Will smiles. “Good thing I was okay.” 

“Yes. Good thing.” 

He lets go and turns to leave but Hannibal’s voice stops him. 

“How long have you been magically dormant?” 

Will freezes. “What?” 

“The power surge. That only comes with dormancy for months or even years. You obviously…” 

Will turns to look at him. Hannibal is smiling. 

“You’re a witch.” 

“Yes, as are you.” 

Will has never met another witch before outside of his own family, now long gone. He’s as excited as he is scared. “Why didn’t you say so right away?” 

“I did not wish to frighten you,” Hannibal says, “I confess I was unsure until you mentioned the cat.” 

“Why?” 

“Mephistopheles is my familiar. Only witches can see familiars.” 

Will laughs. “Shit, shit, shit, shit. This is…I’ve never met another witch. My father was pretty afraid of us dealing with them so we were our own coven. Since he died and I…I lost my magic I’ve been pretty much alone.”

Hannibal walks over to him and puts his hands over Will’s. 

“You don’t have to be alone anymore. I would love to spend an evening helping you find balance with your magic again.” 

Will smiles nervously. “I…yeah, I don’t know if I’m…maybe? Is that ok? This is just crazy I have to wrap my head around it.” 

Hannibal smiles. “Of course. But please take care of yourself. I haven’t had the pleasure of another magical being in my life in a very long time either. I do not wish to lose you even before we have a chance to become friendly.” 

Will nods. “Keep an eye on your cat then.” 

“I will.” 

“Let me walk you out.” 

They leave the exam room and head into a waiting room that’s entirely dark save for a faint light from outside. “It’s after hours I apologize for the lack of light.” 

Will laughs. “I thought maybe it was because of earlier.” 

“Oh no, not at all.” 

The outside feels colder than the office did and Will shivers even though it’s April. “I…I just realized I don’t have a car.” 

“Oh yes, you do. It’s right there.” 

He looks and sees the car parked not far from where they stand. There doesn’t appear to be a scratch on it. “You fixed my car?” 

“Of course, and the man who brought you here has no knowledge of the accident.” 

Will frowns. “I don’t like messing with them like that. The humans.” 

“I merely tried to combat his upset, Will. You do not seem like you’d want the attention. I apologize.” 

Will shakes his head. “It’s fine. Thanks.” 

Hannibal nods. “Safe travel.” 

“You too,” Will whispers, “Good night, Hannibal.” 

“Goodnight.” 

Will gets behind the wheel and sets the prescription aside, then decides to look at it. 

Hannibal’s phone number and address are written where the pain killers should be. He’s also written words that make Will light headed. 

You show me your magic and I’ll show you mine.