Tag: things to remember

Tying your self worth as a creator to how many followers, notes, and reblogs you get is unhealthy

whistlingwindtree:

lesbianlinkle:

I really truly feel like we need to talk about this, especially as someone who has grown up as an artist online.

I’ve absorbed some unhealthy mindsets over the years and have since spent a long time unlearning them, this is definitely one of the most insidious ones.

It’s SO easy to get into a mindset that unless you get x number of notes on your work like all those other creators, what you make isn’t worth anything.

But the truly nasty part about this mindset is you never reach “x number”, because it always gets bigger!

100 notes, 500 notes, 1,000 notes, 10,000 notes… as soon as you get a single post that reaches one of your milestones – you want it to get bigger.

It’s not surprising i mean there’s entire video games where the only reward is the number getting bigger, there’s a sense of validation from seeing that number grow.

But the internet is fickle, you cannot predict what will be picked up and what won’t. This is important to remember, so much of it is based on chance and not on your personal skill.

Like, there’s a constant stream of new content being put up online every second. Having someone see your post at all is honestly amazing if you think about it.

Anyway, it’s so so easy and so unbelievably unhealthy to fall into a mindset of ‘nobody reblogs my work, I can’t create anything good’. But it’s just not true!

Your value as a creator is not determined by a number on your social media page.

It’s determined by you, and what you value in your work. For your own mental health, try not to focus on the numbers.

Focus on the people – your friends, that person who likes and reblogs everything you post, the people who wait excitedly for your next creation. They’re the ones who matter, not the number at the bottom.

It’s not easy, but the less you tie your self worth to a nebulous, unreachable number the better you’ll feel about your work.

I think this applies to fan fiction as well! @ao3commentoftheday

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

onlinecounsellingcollege:

1. Recognize that you have choices. Usually people-pleasers feel as if they don’t have a choice, and they have to say yes when someone asks for their help. But you DO have a choice – and it’s Ok to say no.

2. Decide on your priorities. If you already have commitments or you have set priorities then it’s easy to say no as you’ve a genuine “excuse”. Do what matters most to you, and please remember – it’s your life!

3. Stall for time – don’t give an answer right away. Say you need a bit of time before you make up your mind. That allows you time and space to think about the consequences. For other things will likely suffer if you take on far too much.

4. Don’t be afraid to add conditions to your yeses. For example, say that you’ll only say yes if someone else says yes as well – or only take on a new task for a set period of time.

5. Are you being manipulated? There are plenty who will use you to ensure their plans succeed, so watch out for those compliments and empty flattery.

6. Be firm when you say no. The first time you say no it feels uncomfortable and hard. But once you’ve done that a few times it starts to feel much easier. Also, if you sound confident then others take you seriously.

7. Don’t defend you decision. You have a right to say no – and to NOT defend yourself. It’s your life after all – you don’t have to explain “why” … or come up with excuses … or be pushed and pressurised. And don’t apologise to others – saying no is not a crime!

hotsauce418:

Sometimes if feels like things break and there is no way to piece them back together. You wonder if people can see the cracks and the effort you put in, to pretend you are blind to these imperfections. It’s hard lying to people. It’s even harder lying to yourself. Let me tell you, despite your hard work, it doesn’t fool anyone. You don’t have to be perfect to deserve some happiness. Those cracks aren’t there because you are falling apart. You are growing, and this old shell won’t hold you. Someone out there loves you just the way you are, cracks and all. If you are surrounding yourself with people that don’t seem to act that way, those are not your people. No matter how old you are, you will constantly find yourself starting over in some way. Its lame as hell and no one prepares you properly for that adult-y crap. It’s scary to make changes.

But you, my friend, are going to be okay.

People might say lies about you, and spread rumors. There may be days when it feels like you should believe what they say. Friend, let me tell you that owning that crap will add years to your life. You know who you are. Don’t you carry around someone else’s shit. Let them handle their own baggage. You are young yet, you might just earn plenty of your own. If you do, it’s okay. Lord knows we all have some. You just have to try your best not to drag it into every new situation. It’s hard to make changes.

But you, my friend, are going to be okay.

There is no way to prepare yourself for the loss of a relationship or a friendship, or anything that matters to you. It might feel like you can’t breathe now, but that ache fades. One day, before you know it those ribs will expand, and you will exhale all that pain and all that anger. It just fades. It still pokes at the sore spots from time to time, but you can survive it. You are a survivor. I don’t know what you have going on right now, but this is one day down. You did it.  If no one has told you today, I’m proud of you.

And you, my friend, are going to be just fine.