jumpingjacktrash:

theymightbegiantsquids:

motherhenna:

motherhenna:

motherhenna:

Ok so I was looking for historical slang terms for penis (gotta be era-accurate when writing vintage dick jokes) and I came across….something

image

some linguist compiled a literal timeline of genitalia slang–a cock compendium, if you will–that dates back all the way to the fucking 13th CENTURY. This motherfucker tracked the evolution of erection etymology through 800+ years, because if he doesn’t do it, who else will? Thank you for your service, Johnathon Green.

Some of my favorites include:

  • Shaft of Delight (1700s)
  • Womb Sweeper (1980s)
  • Master John Goodfellow (1890s)
  • Nimble-Wimble (1650s)
  • Corporal Love (1930s)
  • Staff of Life (1880s)
  • Spindle (1530s)
  • As good as ever twanged (1670s)
  • Gaying Instrument (1810s)
  • Beef Torpedo (1980s)

and last but not least, the first recorded use of the word Schlong, which was in 1865 CE. Tag yourself, I’m Nimble Wimble 

And are the lovely ladies feeling left out? not to worry! Johnathon’s got you covered, gals, because he also made one for vaginas. Highlights:

  • Mrs. Fubb’s Parlor (1820s)
  • Poontang (1950s)
  • Spunk Box (1720s)
  • Ringerangroo (1930s)
  • Ineffable (1890s)
  • Itching Jenny (1890s)
  • Carnal Mantrap (1890s – a busy decade apparently)
  • Bookbinder’s Wife (1760s)
  • Rough Malkin (1530s)
  • Socket (1460s)

and a personal favorite, crinkum-crankum, circa approximately 1670.

@antique-symbolism

this alone has justified the internet

tygermama:

“You have to surrender to your mediocrity, and just write. Because it’s hard, really hard, to write even a crappy book. But it’s better to write a book that kind of sucks rather than no book at all, as you wait around to magically become Faulkner. No one is going to write your book for you and you can’t write anybody’s book but your own.”

— Cheryl Strayed
(via maxkirin)

lunarcanine:

writingmyselfintoanearlygrave:

cierrascribbles:

sashimiprince:

being a writer is so. wild. like i can just make these characters do… WHATEVER. i have full control. like if i wanted to, in the middle of a scene i could just make a character start levitating. like thats just so WILD to me??? i choose who lives or dies. i choose who falls in love. i choose who gets what they want and who doesnt get what they want

BEING A WRITER IS SO ??????????

SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT!!

I keep saying, “To write is to make yourself a god.”

One time at writing camp, my teacher told us.

“You are the god of your story. You make the people cry, you make them laugh. You have the power to make worlds and destroy them. You have the power to murder. You can do anything.”

sapphicpoet:

sapphicpoet:

writing is weird because sometimes I’ll have no ideas and everything in my head is kind of quiet but then something will happen and it’s like there’s these goblins living in my brain that just start shouting little phrases at me until I sit down and finally write the poem or story or whatever

ancient greek and roman poets:  sing in me, Muse, and through me tell the story

me, banging pots and pans together:  wake the fuck up goblins!!  what the fuck is up!!